


Unwanted

by TheTartWitch



Series: Slash Soulmate AUs [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4863653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTartWitch/pseuds/TheTartWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iruka/Kakashi, soulmate au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Iruka can still remember how it felt. A giant, screaming fox demon and its nine lashing tails wailing above his head as he’s hunkered down and sobbing.

“I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want-!” He mumbled, hands folded over his ears.

“Umino-kun!” An ANBU shouts, waving his arms and attempting to get closer. He’s short for an ANBU; probably a younger agent about Iruka’s age. “Please! Come away from there!”

And leave _them_ here alone? His mother would be alone, burned and blackened here by the bleached-white bones of his father. How could he do that to someone he loved? _Why_ would he?

And how did he know there was only one demon? What if one of them dressed in ANBU’s uniform and left their face as the animal mask? Iruka didn’t want to die (as he’s already established).

“Please come out! Umino-kun! Please!”

“Demons!” Iruka sobbed, bloodshot eyes big and brown. “You’re all demons!” He felt a hand graze his shoulder and screamed, hands rising in a blaze of turquoise chakra to push his assailant away.

“Please.” The voice was sad and quiet. “Please come out.” Iruka’s eyes swiveled towards the low voice to see a boy his age tug off his ANBU mask, eyes a wide black-red and topped with a shock of brilliant white hair. “My name is Hatake Kakashi.” Iruka’s arm tingled, the letters on his forearm swapping and flipping into a name he suddenly knew with terrifying clarity. “Will you come with me to the other survivors?” Iruka stared up at him with wide eyes. _It’s you. And you don’t even know._

Iruka slowly dropped a hand into his soulmate’s waiting palm. As he was ambled towards a group of children, he suddenly remembered part of why he’d gone twitchy earlier.

His Etch had become khaki. It was _brown_. He was _Unwanted_.

Kakashi didn’t want him.

Iruka let himself wilt against Kakashi’s side, allowing himself a few moments of achingly familiar warmth before he was pulled away.

(0)

It was a little while after he had pulled the trickster boy from the corpses of his parents that Kakashi allowed himself to sleep.

His dreams were bleak and empty, a stark-white pristine landscape that was striking in the aftermath of the fox's destruction. He turned in a circle, trying uselessly to find a sign or landmark or _something_.

There was something a little ways away: it was a child, Kakashi observed; a boy most likely. Its face was deliberately blanked away, yet tears rolled down its cheeks from invisible eyes.

“ _You..._ ” the boy wailed, hands fluttering about his face in a panic, “you didn't want me! You left me for that fox, and now everyone I love is dead!” He collapsed onto his knees, droplets streaming off his chin into a puddle on the floor.

Kakashi stumbled forward, feeling deja-vu in a sudden instant before pushing it away. His mouth opened to question the child but he found himself begging, “Please. Please, come here. Come to me.” Beside the boy a shadow began to form, a dull, lightless thing with pure white holes in its face that served as eyes. It didn't move or speak, but he felt its laugh echo. Unconsciously he flinched back, not noticing the boy's face twist at his movement.

“I knew it.” The whisper was quiet. “The great Hatake Kakashi couldn't stand the thought that he might be tied to a mere mortal. So he cast his mate away, leaving me with a big, brown Etch!” The boy stood, glaring venomously.

Kakashi shook his head frantically. “No! No, I didn't, I swear! I thought you'd died!”

The boy blinked, then frowned. “Don't lie to me! I'm smarter than you think. In fact, I bet I can hide from you without you ever finding me again! Bastard!” Kakashi gaped, hands outstretched.

And then the boy was gone.

(0)

“Iruka, Iruka, Iruka. It's okay.” Genma rubbed his back and let the waking boy sob into his shirt.

“He didn't want me! My Etch, it's brown-!” Genma's breath sucked in and he grabbed Iruka's sleeve, prepared to pull it down and figure out who was the culprit. Iruka twitched away: even Unwanted Etches were private. “No.” Iruka whispered, tear trails drying from big, wide eyes, “Don't look.”

(0)


	2. Distraction, Please?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeskip: Iruka meets a friend of Naruto's, eats ramen, avoids saying his name or being within a feasible mile of Kakashi Hatake, and is eventually comfortable cornered anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if the timeskip is confusing. This chapter begins right after the Chuunin Exams, in which a few events have changed. Almost everything is explained, don't worry.   
> Every chapter of this story is going to be about 720 words, just so you know.

It had been almost 13 years since the attack by the Kyuubi on Konoha, and Iruka was 26. He was recovered from the disappointment he’d felt so long ago, though it did sometimes try to rise up. He thought, for a Chuunin, he’d done a pretty good job of concealing himself from his soulmate. He hadn’t said his own name for all those thirteen years, with the exception of introducing himself to his new students every year.

The Chuunin Exams had been a shock, seeing Kakashi so close like that. He’d gotten lucky when he’d seen the man’s name on his yearly jounin-sensei roster and had known to flee the school at his earliest convenience, not even stopping to grade a few papers. His shining record had cracked at that meeting, however, and he’d vented on Kakashi by disguising his anger as fear for his students’ well-being during the exam (and he’d been right to worry, but that was neither here nor there, seeing as Sasuke had refused Orochimaru’s offer and assisted in fighting off the disgruntled sannin’s forces) but he was certain everyone (with the exception of the Hokage, who’d been informed of his special circumstances 13 years ago and had kept his promise to keep it a secret) had been shocked by his protest of things he didn’t really feel threatened by.

-*-

Taking Naruto to ramen had become a habit, and including his older “friend” (after sufficient explanation of the circumstances and chakra involved and soft, loving eyes at his younger charge) wasn’t much of a bother. The three of them enjoyed their time at the ramen stand, and as Iruka walked them back to Naruto’s apartment hand-in-hand (to the amusement of Kurama, Naruto’s “cousin from out of town”), he was surprised to arrive and see Naruto’s self-proclaimed rival standing belligerently by the front door beside his older brother and his sensei.

“Umino-sensei! What a pleasant coincidence.” Itachi smiled as he studied Iruka’s face before slipping behind him to the eyes of a boy with bright, fiery hair who stared right back.

“What do you want, teme?!” Naruto growled before Iruka could respond, stepping forward to press his exhaled breath against Sasuke’s. The paler of the two reddened and let his eyes twitch to Iruka’s bemused expression. Iruka stiffened when he felt a different type of chakra settle in behind him and swiveled his head, deliberately not looking at the white-haired man behind him.

“Iruka-sensei.” He gave a genial smile in response and unclasped Naruto and Kurama’s hands from his own. Kakashi’s jaw was stony and Iruka puzzled over it even as he turned to go. His patience wouldn’t last a round of Hatake battery.

Kakashi began to follow him; Iruka sighed and remained silent, deciding he would definitely not be heading home with an albino bloodhound on his trail.

-*-

He found himself back at the Hokage’s tower and busied himself with some extra deskwork he’d been procrastinating on. He figured using it to throw his soulmate off his trail was as good an excuse as any.

He waited almost half an hour for Kakashi to either leave or spit out whatever he wanted to say, but the man just sat there in silence. After the first fifteen minutes, he pulled out an orange book and began reading avidly, much to Iruka’s embarrassment. He’d tried reading one of those, thinking that as the work of a sannin they must have _some_ knowledge worth imparting, but he’d had to set it down after blushing a brilliant red. One of his female co-workers at the time accused him of having sex in the office, which he vehemently denied. It was against his policy, he’d said with a completely straight face, and then he’d requested a transfer to another department, where such vulgar pieces of literature would not get left on his desk in broad daylight.

When Iruka had finally exhausted all possible channels of work he had yet to finish and found himself in a disturbing state of completion, he looked up to find Kakashi watching him shrewdly, face composed and eyes relaxed. He closed his book with a snap, bowed his head, and said, “Same time next week, ne, sensei?” and then he was gone.

Iruka sat very still for a moment before letting his head hit his desk heavily. The quiet _thud_ echoed in the empty classroom.

-*-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The incidents with Kurama and Itachi and everyone will be explained in their story. Every pairing gets their own few chapters of their own story. It's a soulmate AU series. Again, if anyone has a pairing and soulmate "idea" or favorite soulmate "type" that you believe I've missed, please do send it in. I'll let you know if I know the pairing or not. :)


	3. Beginning of Agravation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka is confronted by Naruto about why creepy jounin-sensei has suddenly become EARLY creepy jounin-sensei. 'Nuff said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just realized I haven't explained the rules of this 'verse yet. Basically, in the Naruto world, there are 7 different types of finding your soulmate:  
> 1\. Name: where their name is on your arm from birth. Pretty popular in this fandom.  
> 2\. Scramble: where the letters are on your forearm, but they don't become the person's name until you hear them say it themselves. In use here.  
> 3\. Hand print: the 'soul' reaches out before birth and leaves a hand print on the back of the neck.  
> 4\. Colorblindness: you're colorblind/blind to a certain color until you touch your soulmate. Also pretty popular in this fandom.  
> 5\. Soulkiss: after the first kiss with your soulmate, a bruise will form somewhere on the body in the shape of the lips. It stays for the rest of your life as a sort of tattoo.  
> 6\. Image: a matching image or picture is on the bodies of both mates, though usually in different spots and in different sizes.  
> 7\. Quote: first thing your soulmate will say to you, printed on your body in their favorite color and their handwriting.

He’s a jounin; Iruka had expected him to forget their abrupt meeting in the school. Even still, he makes sure to skim a little paperwork off the top every day until that day, so he has plenty of legitimate work to occupy him if he should happen to need it. If not, he has a gigantic mound of paperwork that he will be doing _alone._ That’s totally not depressing.

Naruto asks him about it at their ramen meeting, where Kurama is conveniently off with Itachi across the street, trying on sunburst necklaces and bracelets with golden coins and silver pen charms. He can see Itachi’s face; it’s not indulgent, or impatient. It’s wondering and maybe a little sad, but Iruka can see the marvel in his eyes every time Kurama laughs, like he’s found something new he never thought could exist.

“What’s going on with you and Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asks, grimacing as he drops a noodle and has to perform a slow-motion rescue of it from midair. Iruka is mildly disgusted, but he doesn’t say anything, hoping to distract from the question. “He got to training on time the day after you guys met up, you know? We’re just worried, is all.”

Iruka chokes on his noodles. Tears run from his eyes, and his mouth stings. Naruto gives him a hearty whack on the back and he regurgitates the offending food into his bowl like a bird.

“Naruto!” He hisses as soon as he’s able. His eyes bore into Naruto’s bewildered expression.

“What?!”

“Just don’t talk about it. Nothing happened.” _Your sensei creepily watched me do paperwork while reading porn, and then decided we’d do the whole thing again this week._ His mouth shuts on that part, though. Somehow it feels private, like Naruto’s too young to hear about it. Whatever. It’s paperwork. Iruka’s twenty-six and still wishes he’d never heard of it; many nightmares could have been spared.

“Fine! Sheesh.” Naruto pouts, and slurps a noodle as loudly as possible. Teuchi grimaces.

-*-

The meeting happens, and for some reason Iruka can’t explain, it feels even more clandestine than last time, even though this isn’t according to plan and he should be as far away from Kakashi as inhumanly possible, considering his oath thirteen years ago.

He sits at his desk after work, having decided that even if Kakashi doesn’t show up he will have completed his work anyway and be completely done and ready for an eventful weekend (if such a thing should occur) (which he doubts but still, one must always be open to such opportunities).

It’s just as odd as the first time: Kakashi absorbs his porn dutifully, and this time Iruka is aware of the tiny glances shot his way. He knows eventually the two of them will have to talk, but he’s going to hold the man off for as long as possible.

But halfway through their designated half-hour meeting period, Kakashi sighs and closes his book. Iruka gulps discretely and focuses extra hard on the page in front of him which details the adjustments being made to the set of stairs leading to the Hokage Monument. He signs it and glances up, only to find Kakashi’s face about three inches from his own and frowning as much as it can with a mask covering three-fourths of his face.

He opens the inevitable conversation with “You’re avoiding me. Why?” and Iruka just sort of gapes at him, because somehow that’s not exactly how he pictured this conversation beginning, if it ever began at all.

“What?” He manages, air fluttering in his chest as though he’s suddenly out of breath. Kakashi frowns deeper.

“I want to know why you keep trying to get away from me.”

“I… I’m not! Whatever would give you that impression?” Iruka is pretty sure he’s sweating profusely, but he’s not going to check. “I’m pretty sure the question is actually ‘why are you trying to talk to me?’”

Kakashi’s eyes narrow, and he rises very, very slowly out of his chair.

“Would you-?”

-*-

The restaurant is empty; probably because it closed three hours ago and Kakashi just broke him in to get dinner. It’s Chinese, Iruka’s favorite, and he wonders, disturbed, how Kakashi knows that. It’s not like Iruka advertises it.

Maybe he’s just that good?

Or maybe he’s that special brand of Jounin-crazy that reads the minds of the people around him.

That’s kind of creepy for a soulmate. Oh God, his soulmate is a jounin.

-*-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys are liking this because I'm getting kudos alerts, but nobody's reviewed to send in a pairing/suggestion or tell me exactly what they think, so I'm unsure if I should keep giving this to you guys. *pouts*  
> I'm a feedback whore, you guys. Let me know what you think!! Or just to chat!! COMMENT, BY JOVE!!  
> Ahem.  
> Enjoy. :)


	4. The Return Of Disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The realization scene on Kakashi's part and the return of everything Iruka tried to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit angsty but I swear it gets better.

“So,” is the conversation starter Kakashi uses, and it’s just as incredibly awkward as it sounds.

“So, are you enjoying your chicken fried rice?” He flusters, waving his chopsticks around wildly. Iruka watches him with a mild sense of amusement; weren’t jounins supposed to be graceful?  He gives a grunt in acknowledgment of Kakashi’s question but doesn’t give any answer less vague than that. “Are you upset that I dragged you out to dinner?”

Iruka smirked and crossed his arms on the table, chopsticks tucked away in some pocket or other.

“Considering that this restaurant closed three hours ago, I had work to do, and you keep trying to have some kind of conversation with me, I’m a little worried. But I’m pretty sure you’re a jounin and jounin are all a little strange in the head (consider the face mask and white gravity-defying hair), it might be nothing.” He smiled and began eating again. “By the way, how did you know I like Chinese?”

Kakashi’s eyes crinkled, and Iruka deduced he was smiling back gleefully. “Trade secret.” He said, touching a finger to his mask and shaking a laugh out of Iruka.

-*-

**After that, they meet almost every week for dinner and smiles, but Kakashi knows Iruka's hiding something. He broods and sometimes doesn't notice Kakashi say his name, and it worries Kakashi. Is he mad about something and just hasn't said anything yet? Even though when he thinks back he can't remember anything, this is a very plausible reason for the slouching and dulled eyes.**

**Worried, Kakashi begins to ask around and listen in on Iruka's conversations, especially the ones where he doesn't know Kakashi's listening (it's not eavesdropping, it's for a good reason).**

**And all of a sudden he hears it.**

**Tsunade's having a meeting with the citizen representatives and wants them to meet Iruka as well, as he will be taking notes on the conversation and points of interest. Kakashi knows he shouldn't be listening in (and it's unlikely Iruka would say anything about Kakashi at a representative meeting unless it was political), so he begins to pull away from the window only to stop with a jerk.**

**“My name is Umino Iruka, and I-” Iruka says, very straight and professional, and Kakashi's arm breaks out in such strong tremors he has to stop jumping roof to roof (and when did he start trying to escape?) and he realizes Iruka _knew_ the entire time. The listless, hopeless glances; the thoughtful silences; the shaking laughter, as though he's smiling against his will.**

**He _knew_ , and he didn't say anything, didn't even hint the truth- he _knew_ , and Kakashi's mind keeps getting stuck on this stupid little point like a broken cog in a machine.**

**There was only one reason Kakashi had ever heard to explain why Iruka hadn't said anything: he didn't want Kakashi as his soulmate. He seemed okay with friendship, and Kakashi was pathetic enough that he would take what he could get.**

-*-

Iruka knows he’s being avoided. No one will say why until he runs into Anko, who saw Kakashi the day before yesterday running on the rooftops clutching his arm and looking upset. Her exact words (“I bet he found his soulmate, from the way he was holding onto his arm like it was going to fall off,” and here she demonstrates on a passing Gai, who does it ‘in the name of youthfulness’ and leaves crying just a little bit, “and I’ll bet it was someone awful, from the look on his face!”) makes Iruka’s eyes widen and his heart twinge. Kakashi found his soulmate? That’s not possible; what was Iruka doing that day?

Going to Tsunade’s meeting as a recorder, but how does that- he introduced himself. He introduced himself to the representatives. What if Kakashi had been listening in?

 _Oh gods._ The twinge is a stabbing sensation now. Kakashi found out and wants nothing to do with Iruka; that’s why he’s avoiding him.

He gets home over the rooftops and lets himself in without remembering how. He just cleaned, so his floor is clean and he doesn’t think twice about curling up right there on the floor in a tight ball and trying to forget everything. The pain from 13 years ago is coming back, along with the extra disappointment Iruka managed to scrounge up this time around, after gathering hope in a jar and having that jar smashed brutally.

_I wish everything was over. I wish I didn’t have to speak or think about this ever again._

-*-


	5. The Story Gets Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit longer than I intended, but I feel like it's also the perfect length.  
> I've gotten a few requests to get to the Narusasu portion already, so I will probably be posting the last chapter of this by tomorrow. If not, it will definitely be done by Sunday, and I shall have the Narusasu out right after that. Same story as this one: indefinite amount of chapters, specified number of words in each chapter, and requests/pairing ideas/conversation starters are always welcome!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be no smut. Until I get better at it, do not ever expect to see smut in my stories. Strictly hugs and possibly cuddles. :)  
> Also, if you didn't get this, Kakashi's POV is in bold. Cuz people wanted his POV and also it was kind of necessary for the progression of the story. ;D

**Kakashi decides he’s avoided Iruka long enough and the man’s going to be suspicious of his silence; perhaps enough to question his motives for staying away so long. So he attends the now-weekly meeting to do paperwork (and on Kakashi’s end, read porn) in Iruka’s classroom, letting his eyes crinkle at the edges as if he’s smiling. Iruka looks completely surprised to see him, as though he thought their friendship was over or just for convenience. Kakashi hopes that’s not the case; he’d hate it if he found out Iruka didn’t even want him as a friend.**

**At first it’s awkward; rushed shuffling of papers, strange noises that Iruka tries to hide behind a cough, a coffee cup knocked onto the floor that he ducks to pick up (luckily it’s empty). Finally, he can’t take it anymore and puts his book to the side (with a bookmark in it for later, in case he gets peckish), letting it smack down with a loud sound in the near-silent room. Iruka startles, staring up at him as he stands as though he’s afraid of something.**

**“Are you alright?” Kakashi says around a choking wad of words he’d rather say and the nostalgia that the feeling creates, something that reminds him of the way he feels after having a dream and knowing the contents are important but being unable to retrieve them. “You’ve been… clumsier than usual tonight.” Iruka’s face relaxes a little, as though relieved Kakashi hadn’t said whatever it was he really wanted to say.**

**“Just… distracted.” Iruka replies, beginning to sort the paperwork he’s finished so far. It’s an unusually small amount for such an efficient man. Kakashi catalogues this fact and files it away. “Tsunade-sama is working on the details of a compromise with the civilian division, stuff to do with taxes and transportation and” he huffs indignantly here “ _roof repairs_ because some nin don’t watch where they’re going and step on tiles that aren’t reinforced and keep putting holes in the ceilings of vacationing civilians, which is troublesome to clean up, pay for, and reprimand the responsible individuals.” Kakashi finds he’s sat down and rises, opening his mouth. His heart betrays him and contracts angrily. **

**“I heard the opening bit of that meeting,” he says, still feeling cowardly enough to dance around the real issue and play word games. “Bit of a shock, wasn’t it, when the Second Official offered to take the whole group dancing? And then he asked your name, and Tsunade asked you to introduce yourself.” It’s getting even less subtle until it sounds like an upset child’s accusations. Iruka has frozen, eyes wide as they stare right through a form asking if someone could get that one jounin to wear pants or at least arrest him for indecent exposure. Kakashi’s pretty sure the brunette’s paying absolutely no attention to form at that point.**

**“I did.” Iruka whispers, and shifts his hand towards one of his many pockets. Kakashi is willing to bet it’s the pocket holding the smoke bombs. He puts his palm on top of that hand and leans over the desk, waiting. “I said, ‘My name is Umino Iruka and I’…” His voice breaks. “‘I…’”**

**He stops, suddenly staring up at Kakashi with watery eyes that beg him not to say anything else.**

**And Kakashi backs off. His arm is tingling like it fell asleep and the sound of Iruka’s voice saying his own name woke it up. He smiles grimly, having gotten all the confirmation he needed, and goes back to his porn.**

-*-

Iruka lets the door clatter shut behind him as he runs. He knows he’s only fleeing from a beast that could track him anywhere he went, but something in the act of running makes him feel safer.

He goes to Genma’s; curls up on the couch and buries his head between his knees. Genma never asks for explanations: not with the troubles 13 years ago, not with Mizuki, not with his friendship with Naruto. Genma’s just _there_ , smelling like home and comfort. He slowly relaxes, letting his entire body clench tight and then unwind nice and slow until he’s lying flat on the old wide cushions and then he notices Genma enter, still looking out the front door with a vaguely disturbed expression before he turns and sees Iruka, prone on his furniture but with a mind so far away.

He gets a cup of hot chocolate and sets it on a coaster on the coffee table next to the couch for Iruka. He settles into the slouchy armchair that sucks you in and relaxes too, waiting to see if Iruka will say anything this time. And Iruka does, spilling it all into the air between them; coloring the story red as love, black as mourning, brown as ashes, and as white as lies. It’s gold with meanings that aren’t understood, and as wild and thorny as any story ought to be. But it’s not the story Iruka wants.

He wants the story where everyone lives, where nothing happened 13 years ago and there’s no reason to feel so heartbroken and confused over a man he should have just met, not someone he’s been pining over for half of his life.

At the end, he gets up to close the window and at a flick of color in the corner of his eye, meets the narrowed eyes of an albino jounin.

-*-


	6. Acceptance is the Ending Statement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending is sappy. Toodles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not as good as it could be. I'm crap at ending stories. Sorry guys. Please read ending note. :)

He gapes, nose twitching, as he stares into the blue(?) eye of the Copy-Nin sitting on the roof of Genma’s house. Genma, noticing the unnatural pause of his movements and still angry over the story, reaches around him, pulls Kakashi in, and swats him roughly over the head. The albino doesn’t flinch, jus stares calmly at Iruka as though Iruka hadn’t just dumped his heart all over the floor and then found Kakashi examining the pieces it was missing.

“I thought something was fishy when I spotted you staring a hole in my house. I guessed you were planning a prank on Iruka when I saw him too, but I bet the truth is a lot funnier, huh?” Genma scowled, stepping indiscretely in between Iruka and Kakashi.

The man’s mouth opens a little, barely more than a crack, and a low rumble escapes. It’s much deeper than Kakashi’s voice and it takes Iruka a minute to decipher it.

“It’s a misunderstanding.” He says, eyes locked on Genma’s but fingers twitching in Iruka’s direction. Their heads tilted in almost exactly the same motion and Kakashi frowns angrily.

“What?”

“I _said_ , it’s a _misunderstanding_. Thirteen years ago, the marks’ color, _your_ feelings, _my_ feelings, _everything._ ” Kakashi’s voice glows with the same colors Iruka had just explained to Genma, and the man flopped back into his armchair to Iruka’s disbelief.

“Explain.”

“Genma!?” Iruka snapped, fear making his temper rise exponentially. He didn’t want to hear the other half of the story all of a sudden; he didn’t want to hear how wrong he’d been all these years, how he could have potentially reached out and said something.

Kakashi and Genma ignored him, waiting until he’d settled onto the couch again with a huff and crossed arms. Kakashi began his story.

-*-

“ **Thirteen years ago, I was an ANBU tasked with rescuing victims trapped or injured under the wreckage. I pulled you from a field, correct? You were that boy, the one by the- right. I didn’t think about it until later, but my Mark turned brown just about the time the fox attacked. I asked a psychologist about it and he said that sometimes traumatized people or people who’ve just experienced a great loss will decide they don’t want to feel that loss again so they cut everyone off, including their soulmate.**

**I couldn’t remember who the boy was exactly until a few minutes ago, hearing your story, but I was still a child, no matter how high-ranked. It hurt, thinking that someone who’d never met me didn’t want me, so I retaliated and decided I didn’t want you either. This ended up confusing the both of us later, with you unable to remember the decision you made and I unable to accept my own.**

**In the end, I fell in love with you without any need for soulmarks and decided to pester you so you’d pay attention to me. I was confused and upset when I realized you were my soulmate, but I tried to make sure today and ended up making you unhappy and I’m sorry.”**

-*-

Iruka is reeling. Maybe everything he heard just now makes sense and tilts his world a little, but that’s nothing to the fact that Kakashi _wants_ him. Kakashi wants him enough to chase him down and acknowledge the awkwardness that is Iruka, enough to try to explain his actions in front of judge and jury, and to Iruka that’s something meaningful.

-*-

They’ve settled in for the night (Genma is generous and allows them to camp at his place that night, seeing as Kakashi doesn’t want to leave Iruka’s side and Iruka’s not comfortable taking him home) and Iruka’s seated on the porch, warming his hands with a cup of coffee that Genma keeps just for him, seeing as Genma doesn’t drink coffee. Kakashi is on the other side of the porch, pretending he’s looking at the stars but instead watching something much brighter.

“I can’t believe it,” Iruka muses, leaning down a little to blow on his coffee. Kakashi tilts his head towards him in question. “I can’t believe we went so long without questioning it or trying to get an explanation before.” He keeps saying ‘we’ but really he means ‘I’. Kakashi nods, having grasped Iruka’s insinuation: _I care_ _about this. I want you to care about this. I’ve cared about this for ages; almost thirteen years without realization or thought have gone by, and now it’s time to wake up._

And Kakashi agrees.

“I can’t believe it either.” He says, struggling not to smile. _I love you. And I want this too._

-*-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The current results are Naruto/Sasuke as the next one, and I've been working on it even though it might change as more votes are comin in, but I feel a little blocked right now on that one, so please continue to vote!  
> Actually, I think I'll just start Itachi/Kurama since I've got the first chapter for that done and we can just leave them out of the voting again. :) I'm so mean. Keep voting though!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning in my soulmate series. I've already started on several other pairings and au's, but if anybody wants to send in a pairing with an au, I'll let you know if I don't already have it and see if I know the pairing. :) Do your best everyone!


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